As a teacher, I'm going to set you both a bit of homework...look up the book Soberlicious suggested near the beginning of the thread 'Taming the feast beast' or something similar. Equip yourselves with as much knowledge as you can so that you can be as positive and confident as is possible to be. Bloss..think about making a Big Plan and spend some time thinking about the REAL you. MB-if you get some free time, spend it doing something fun. Stop thinking about all the self-improvement just for an hour or so and be silly, extravagant, outrageous. Then the self-improvement bit doesn't seem like hard work but something you WANT to do instead. It seems worth it.
I'm going through some stuff at the moment. Unrelated to addiction but its the first major life-changing issue I've ever faced sober. It makes me remember why I drank. I'm not going to, not even close to going there. And I'm still not smoking and I'm going to the gym nearly every night. I'm being bugged every single day by the beast about smoking. Every single day I've almost given in. The voice 'you REALLY deserve one now...everyone would understand...just think, it will stop you from picking up a drink (?!)....' It knows I listen to it more than I should be, so it's picking up momentum.
BUT I CAN'T TO THAT TO MY KIDS...God, that commitment I made to them about the smoking is about as powerful as it gets. It just can't be broken.
Love to you both. You can do this thing. I know it x