COD-
I thought I would share with you what I did when I finally left. I had already consulted with attorneys also. They day came when I could not be around him another day. I did write a letter when I left. I wanted to be able to get all my thoughts straight and as clear as possible. I let him know how his actions had been making me feel and how unhealthy the way were living was for me, him and the boys. I believe I actually used the "I committed to marriage vows and not a suicide pact" saying I learned here, I think from Mike. I did spell out in the letter that I was moving out that day and gave my conditions that I expected needed to be consistantly met before I even thought about moving back or even working on our marriage any longer. ( this might cover your trying to fix things issues, I brought up marriage counceling etc.)
I was at a point in my marriage the "sticking it out" to see if he could change in any set point of time, was just not healthy for me any longer. I really did hope that he would get his act together, but alas.......
For your courtroom purposes, you can always take a screen shot of the properties of the word file to show when it was created. I did this for court after the fact. Right click the document and scroll to properties. You can see when it was created. Take a screen shot, Voila! Looks very official in court. I am great at this stuff if you ever need help. I'm a color coding, make visuals of missed visits, print out copies of every mean text kind of gal!
Also, if you can get yourself a councelor who has worked with the courts with children and divorces, find one for yourself ASAP. If you are a good match they will be invaluable. Mine has helped me to deal with my ex but also has given me tons of advice and eased my mind; many many times on ways to approach situations so that not only will I be doing the best by my kids but look good in the courts eyes.
Good luck COD. You will know when the time is right and how to do it.
4MyBoys