Originally Posted by Nighthawk8820

It sounds like you havent reached the stage where you want it bad enough or are willing to stand up and force yourself to make a change. I try and be supportive on here, but you are pretty consumed with wanting to drink again. Its a choice only you can make! You either want to change your life or you dont.

Never start saying I will never do something, this or that, EVER again...........instead try saying I will not drink today, and do something else to challenge yourself. Getting sober isnt just setting the bottle down, its a whole new way of life and learning how to deal with life in general with a clear head and open mind.Its a lot of personal reflection and personal growth that I believe, makes you a much more well rounded person with a sense of self that in unparalleled. Its not easy, but its one of the most worthwhile things I have ever experienced in my life. The differences are so profound, I had no idea when I first started.

So you have to ask yourself if you are ready to go all in on changing your entire world by getting sober, or if you aren't quite there yet. Then, and only then, can you decide to get the ball rolling and making changes. You have to be super proactive, but I can attest that its worth it. Its really up to you.