WTBH, I feel for you!! Your XAH sounds like a real piece of work. What an A$$. I can fully understand why you need to vent. I'd need to vent AND break something.
Everyone gave you great advice. I know you feel badly for your girls but they will be okay. I like what Florence said about how she talks to her son about the reality of who his dad is and what he can expect of him. I grew up with an emotionally unavailable father and my mom always made excuses for him, probably because she was in denial about it herself. I think it would have really helped me to be spoken to honestly about him.
My ex was a master of the vitriolic text message. I know how upsetting it is to receive that kind of crap, and how much anxiety it can cause. I also feel like I have PTSD now. He is out of my life but I'm still always waiting for the other shoe to drop--about everything!! When you live with that kind of abusive behavior it reprograms your nervous system or something. .
I hope you have a wonderful June 16th regardless. And hopefully all the positive thoughts and energy from SR will serve as some kind of antedote to your x's extreme negativity.