Thanks..sorry for being a huge whiner. I am at war with the two voices in my head and I feel like I am on both of their sides. I wish I was at a point where I didn't want to anymore. I don't want to want it? I feel like even if I make it through this weekend I will be fighting this same battle week after week and I hate it.
I did look at the AVRT...looks good especially since I can't really get to a meeting anywhere right now. I want to be empowered but I just feel like...angry? Lost....maybe just overwhelmed.
I didn't really mean alcohol was like shoes...I meant that if I couldn't wear shoes tomorrow I would make it....and I could do it the next day but sooner or later I am gonna want to put some shoes on. And I need my brain to stop thinking of alcohol like shoes and think of it like...nailing my head to the carpet. I need to get there.
Thanks again. I need to get over the pity party and lock it up.