Hi, all.
My Beast has been nasty today. It's been trying its best weapon against me - negative self-talk.
It took me some time to recover. I've been in blue mood all day long.
My beast fights against my dreams and goals.
I wasn't perfect today. But still I didn't go on binge, I curbed my cravings and stopped. Actually, I re-red my big plan and stopped. It's been always extremely hard for me - I either completely stay away from cookies or eat them up to the last crumb. But today I just had some, and stopped.
My yesterday's binge is hanging right on my belly. Damn.
It's still hard to focus on one day at a time. I have to set strict borderlines so negative thinking doesn't contaminate the entire day, at least.
Focus on positive. Ok, why don't encourage myself the way I often do if someone slips on the recovery road.
I've had 16 binge-free days vs. just one yesterday. If it was 17-round boxing fight I would still be a winner.
Yes, I kind of relaxed. I've been doing well - light on feet, defense is not bad, I know most of the tricks which my adversary uses. I forgot that I should be vigilant all the time.
And I missed a punch.
All of sudden I was on the ropes.
What in the world was that? How could I miss it? I feel so frustrated I am ready to cry.
The referee is approaching.
- Can you get up?
- Absolutely.
- I am counting. One.
I am angry.
Two.
I am on my feet.
Three.
It hurts.
Four.
My vision is still blurred with anger and tears.
Five.
My vision is getting clear again.
Six.
I need some ice to put against my bruise.
Seven.
I am taking a deep breath.
Eight.
Another deep breath.
Nine.
I am ready to fight again.
Gong!
Jeni - you beast sounds just like mine some time ago. Kudos to you on curbing it! I am glad you are calmer now. And I can tell you sound so confident in your posts! You seem to like exercising as well. Real badass!
Bloss - you are so right that we should treat ourselves as we would treat another. I think I would never say anything even close to that I am telling myself. Thank you for reminding this!
Have a great day, pals)
See you later.