QuickBen

Okay, the subject line says it all and I'm going to try and be brief. I've popped in and out of here like a mosquito over the past year or so—the frequency of my visits should be an indication of how well I've done with quitting (read: not well at all.)

I've been through a rash of doctors and specialists over the past few months. Each visit has fallen into one of two groups: (1) I lost my nerve and, even though I spent hours before the visit commanding myself NOT to, lied about my drinking problem (ie: "...Only about 3-4 a night" vs the truth [6-8 a night, mish mash of beer and liquor.]) OR (2) I was completely open about my issue and the specialist/doctor was completely unhelpful ("try mixing some pomegranate juice with tonic water, that helps me" was a good one; one guy just talked AT me for an hour about what an amazing counselor he is.)

I'm finally with a doctor who I think is both worth his salt and who I plan on TODAY being honest with. He knows, from prior visits, that drinking is a concern of mine. I have not been truthful with him about the fact that I think I'm more addicted then just "working through a mild dependency."

Anyway, here's the bottom line and where I was hoping to get insight from some old hands at this (as I'm relatively young and trying to tackle this disease before it really burns my ass.)

(1) I know I need to get to a meeting. I know I need to find a program. I want to do these things, but I for some reason have a mental block about doing that UNTIL I have tackled detox (because yes, I do experience withdrawal symptoms when I don't drink, particularly severe nausea, brain fog, and anxiety.)
(2) In the past, this doctor prescribed me Neurontin (Gabapentin) to help me break my "mild dependency." I freaked out and stopped it after one night of terrible insomnia and anxiety. In hindsight, I wonder if it was the Gabapentin that caused this, or alcohol withdrawal.
(3) After this, once I (very foolishly) lied to my doctor about having my drinking more under control, he prescribed me Wellbutrin and Klonopin for anxiety/depression (and yes, I realize how incredibly idiotic it is of me to be drinking while on these medications.)
(4) I want to home detox (I don't think I'm at a point in my drinking, based on past withdrawal symptoms, where I need inpatient treatment) starting TODAY.

So here's where I am now, as I sit waiting on his phone call: 150mg of Wellbutrin daily and a .5mg of Klonopin at bedtime, usually after I am somewhere between buzzed and drunk. What do I need to say to this doctor when he calls me? Has anyone been in a similar place and had a positive experience with detox? Overall I do trust this doctor, but I also want to know if there are any red flags I should be looking for (ie If someone has had a very bad experience on a particular medication, I want to hear about it so I can question him cogently if he prescribes it.)

Sorry to ramble. Any advice at all would be much appreciated.