Your story sounds a lot like mine , nonsensical. On paper, it would sound and read like I have everything I could possibly want and need ( and I do), and therefore would seemingly have no real reason to drink....But even though I drank all my adult life, my alcoholic drinking started when I stopped sleeping. I drank to calm down and to simply sleep. And the rest is history. I have to ditto pretty much everything Mecanix said..... " the fight is the same". It doesn't matter if we have " everything we want" if we are too drunk to appreciate and absorb it. When we are drinking we have nothing.