A new member with questions
Hello to everyone on this board. I have been reading many of the posts here, but have not seen many situations similar to mine. I have been married for almost 21 years to my husband. I guess that I probably knew that he was an alcoholic when I married him, but didn't really want to admit it. He rarely drinks hard liquor; mostly beer and wine. Rather a lot, in my opinion, althogh I quit counting bottles and glasses awhile back. He has done so for over 40 years.
When he became disabled (back injury) about 5 years ago, I went back to school and finally obtained my BA and teaching certification. Because he wasn't working and spent his days home alone, he started drinking even earlier. He did not take a y pain meds, just self-medicated with alcohol.
We never talk about his drinking; the few times I tried resulted in horrible arguments, and I am not fond of confrontations. This past year was my first as a certified teacher, and required long hours . I seldom was home before 6 pm, and by then he was "all done". Our 16 year old daughter has been ver busy with school activities as well, so we have rarely seen the man that we have always known and loved. When he has had too much to drink, he is hurtful to both of us, repeats himself continuously, and then falls asleep (passes out) in his chair. In the morning, he acts as if nothing unusual has happened, and often forget s much of what he said.
I am getting to the point where I simply can't tolerate it any longer. I am also concerned for my daughter and want to see her finish high school, continuing her high grades. I'm afraid that if my marriage blows up, it will put her at risk. She is on track to receive some scholarships if she continues doing well. She truly is brilliant and deserves to go to college. As you might have guessed, I don't have the resources to send her without this help. As it now stands, I have many years of financial ais I will be paying on myself.
One more cog to throw in that is making me even crazier...I have been working with a gentleman that has been so pleasant and kind to me, that now I realize that normal relationships are really possible. I feel lik I have missed out for most of my adult life. I am not doing anything inappropriate with this fellow, but he does seek me out for conversation every week. Its kind of nice to talk to someone that is not judgemental, or that has suggestions about how I SHOULD be doing things. Just a nice chat.
Anyway, I feel like I am at some sort of crossroad; not sure about my next steps.