Good morning non! I too have so much to live for and my life is just about perfect. Great family, two awesome kids, awesome house, job etc. I am a single mom of two kids, so their are issues from my divorce, but other than that things are perfect. I too drink to slow my mind down or even just check out for a night. I will break open a bottle of vodka and go on a cleaning spree or knock down my "to do list". Wake up the next morning and start the day over. Until the night comes again when I can let go. Sometimes that night turns into the next day or the next two days. I usually only buy enough liquor to last for my "allotted drinking time." It's when I stock up for a few nights that things turn from hours into days.
You're not alone. I fully understand. Never before have "I" wanted to stop drinking. Usually the trauma of coming off of a bender wears off after about 3-5 days and I think just a few more times. I'll just make a resolution to never buy more than enough for that night. Time to get off of this hamster wheel though, don't you think?