Dear SoloJohn, hang tight about the contact---you don't want to become another intermittent chicken! I know how it is---you manage to crawl up to the edge of the hole--and then you make contact to, hopefully dull the pain---wham! Jerked back down into the hole again. You never even get clear of the "hole" because you get jerked back so often.
Solo, bit by bit, the better times get longer and longer. Grief takes it's own time--you just have to know that it will come to an end and be willing to go through it. You can't go around it. It is about getting up and going forward every day, even though it sucks.
You are making progress, but you just can't measure it, yet. It is like the grass growing in the spring---you sit and watch it, but can't see it move. Three days later--you go out i nto the yard, and the damn stuff is three inches tall! This will happen to you as long as you keep facing forward.
About the mornings being the worst--I suspect that you m ay be a little depressed. I would be surprised if you weren't.
one day at a time.
dandylion