I can relate, stopped drinking 11/5/12, earned my Masters 12/15/12 while also working full time. It was very upsetting when I sober up to how I had been living, the harm I did to myself and others, etc. There is still a long road of reconstruction ahead....but it's far better than the alternative!!
It is slowly getting better, but I had to learn to experience some pain, and as an addict I have always medicated pain away. You have reservations about AA, I did too, we all did. I was used to intellectualizing everything. Intellectually, the program doesn't make sense; one can't intellectualize the spiritual. It wasn't the time to think when I first stopped drinking, it was the time to listen to people who found a solution, and do what they did. My thinking had gotten me into all this trouble in the first place!!
I have almost 7 months sober, have done it with AA (no in or out patient rehab) and believe me, I had huge reservations. It is working for me. It can work for you.
Feel free to send me a private message, I'm happy to share my experience with you.