Dear kaduceuskitty,
there is a lot of help out there and a lot of people have been successful by taking that help. I just got out of a 28 day program that was very informative (detox was included). There are so many of them out there. I see that you are in VA, the one I went to is called Phoenix Recovery Center in Edgewood, MD - check out their website (I think it's
www.phoenixrecoverycenter.com). The detox meds they have helped me tremendously and they have excellent staff there. (Their phone # is 410-671-7374 but they have a toll free number as well on their website). Tramadol can be very serious when it is abused. A young man that was in rehab with me was using Tramadol when he ran out of Vicodin and he was having seizures because he was taking so much Tramadol. He said it scared the crap out of him.
I know what you mean about being scared of detoxing and having to take time away from work. I felt the exact same way. Unless you've detoxed before, you have no idea what it's like. People who haven't been through it say "it's only a few days out of your life" but we who have been through it know that when your going through withdrawal it feel like an eternity. That the only reason I initially went into rehab - because I knew I wouldn't be able to detox on my own, and you really shouldn't. I would highly encourage you to call some places or have your husband call around (my brother called for me). There are people and places that can help you. I can tell that you don't want to live the way you're living anymore and it doesn't have to be like that anymore. It sounds like you want help but I know how scary it is to reach out for it. However, by doing so, you're being extremely brave - it takes more courage to say you need help than to contininue to hide all your pain and emotions with drugs. I'll be praying for you - do the right thing.