Oh my, Sarah. Hugs. Reading your post i found myself thinking never mind the man, understand yourself. Sounds like you have some patterns going on there that you are really aware of but maybe not fully dealt with yet?
I dont think you should be making allowances for this guy because of his recovery beyond the basic respect we would award any person. If he is 10yrs clean then i am guessing that he must be able to take care of his own recovery and doesnt need fixing. Take care of yourself and dont accept (or make) excuses for things that dont sit right with you.
Just my thoughts, reading your post. Others may see different.
