Hi, This is the first time i ve posted ,although i ve been reading the threads for a few months. I'm married to an alcoholic, we've been together 4 years married for 15 months. I never knew he had a drink problem at first, by the time i'd realised, I was in love with him. At first it was nt such an issue but since we've been married he becomes aggressive and violent when he drinks. I'm always on edge waiting for him to start on me.
Im sick of the lies, I'm sick of being insulted and threatened, I'm tired of being made to feel i'm not good enoough and that everything I do is wrong.
I work full time in a stressful job, then I have to come home and be screamed at and humiliated.Everything I ever tell him, he twists then uses it against me when he drinks, On monday he saw me in the town and screamed such foul disgusting things at me, I felt so humiliated, the violence and aggression just makes me feel physically sick.
When he's sober he is caring and loving, when he drinks he becomes a monster and is ready to fight everyone. A neighbour called the police because he pinned me against the front door, it made the situation worse. I know hes abusive and I should walk away, why do I take it?
He found somewhere to stay as I could nt cope with the stress, but he won't leave me alone, he s either banging on the door insulting me, or calling crying and begging to come home then in the next breath hes threatening me saying he'll always be married to me and he'll kill me if we are nt together. I just need some peace, I love him but i'm emotionally exhausted by his games.
Sometimes he says he does have a problem with drink but hes not an alcoholic, other times he says everyone else has the problem. I believe in our marriage vows and our religion says I should forgive. I do but its like he plays on it, When I forgive him he thinks I'm weak and its ok to mess up again. he drinks everytime he has money, he isnt working and now we're 'apart' he gets benefits . When he does he drinks til the money runs out, then he'll be vicious for about 3 days til the booze is out of his system. The he'll be 'normal' and apologetic til next time.. and there always is a next time.
