Boon44, It is chemicals that cause the emotions that are rocking you and it is the advice given and time... time... time ... that heals and changes the chemical and hormonal releases that messes us up so cruelly.
Knowing it is chemical and not LOGICAL or SENSIBLE or REASONABLE or WISE and feelings are NOT reality made it easier for me. It is disconcerting when we realize that we cannot trust our own feelings and our brain and hormones are working against what is best for us but it is what it is. This is why I NEED to stay in recovery because it is exercising wisdom, logic and developing a way of life and a philosophy for living and relationships that changes our future!
And that should be your goal... changing your world, your values, your perceptions to fit who you want to be and shed the parts of you that are attracted to toxic persons and relationships.
It is a process and it takes time but the pain does go away and the fog of "love" and false feelings fall away too. Everything becomes clearer, brighter, sharper and sweeter and your life can become better than ever if you train yourself to focus on what is important.
For myself it was a great counselor, alanon, this site and lots and lots of books and then rinse and repeat daily! Now I visit here each day for a quick look around and still go to alanon but find myself not going as often... gasp... my life is becoming so "normie" that I forget that I am codie! lol...
But I am codie and I do need to stay in recovery as needed and I need to continue to grow as a person because ... it is an awesome way to live!
Hope that helps....