Boon. I have some amazing news! You will find the best most amazing, most fulfilling person to love you.......It's you! I know, it sounds so cliche, but once you gain self worth and self respect, you will be amazing how the ass*holes back off.
I'm 47 and stayed single for the last year because I knew it was time to change or be doing what I was (and what you're doing now) at 60.....ekkk! To be 60 and still having insane relationships scares me more than being alone.
I have to say Boon, you are very honest with yourself here. You see all the reality. Most people in the pain you're in, don't see it until MONTHS after a break.
As for feeling resentful....oh how I recall those days. My ex would be off with whatever new "lay" he had and here I was totally confused sitting in meetings, in therapy, crying, sick and saying "why am I in so much pain?"
Bottom line, I put myself there, not any ex. I chose to be with men who could not give me what I wanted and guess what? I got what I asked for....nothing!
I have a strong feeling you're going to heal faster than you know