Boon, I feel just as you do in afraid. I am 44 and "wasted" the last 13 years on someone who treated me well at times and at other times awful. He has crushed my confidence and self esteem, possibly impacted on my daughters personality and has cast me aside in a really uncaring and cold manner, something I know I don't deserve. I have tried to get through today in a positive way but feel so alone. I have no family close by, my daughter has her own life and all my friends are in relationships so I don't want to bother them. My closest friend has been a great support but is working today and tonight so I am alone with my thoughts, which are quickly becoming negative. Im sorry i cant offer you any advice or support, just wanted you to know you aren't alone with your feelings.