Hey John, great thread. And Jad's info regarding Borderline, especially cross with Alcohol was pretty good, too.
Originally Posted by
SoloJohn 
Well I guess this is normal, but now I'm struggling with feelings that somehow I'm responsible for all of this. I know that's not true, but I still feel that I have contributed.
Sure. BPD/A/A, etc. cannot take responsibility for ANYTHING -- So It Must Be You.
Before leaving, she stated that she had to go or she would die here. I really don't understand, because she still drinks no matter where she is staying. I guess what's really frustrating for me, is that the situation she was in was created by her. I used to beg her to please not drink while driving. She hangs out with a neighbor that also drinks a lot, and I told her it really wasn't a good idea. Is this controlling? This is really getting tough to deal with. Somehow I've got pull out of this. How??
FIRST. Distance.
Physical and Emotional.
In this like other realms, Distance = Safety.
You work construction, right? Same here, in varying projects. I have done somethings where Distance = Safety. Demolition. High Voltage Electricity.
Get your distance and stay safe.
I know too, she has mental issues, and with the alcohol, is just a really bad situation. But why is she so angry at me? She says she doesn't blame me, yet it sure seems so.
She is angry. You are there. Might as well dump on you.
You know the story of the Bear and the Rabbit?
Just to give an idea how bad it has been, she, apparently would drink rubbing alcohol. I couldn't keep any in the house. She even found some in the garage I had for cleaning things. Don't get me wrong, she can be a very kind and generous person, and is well liked by nearly all she meets. Help me to understand some of this?? And why I feel like this. Sorry for the long rant. Really blue today..
Living it here, too. Mrs. Hammer went down this time on Vanilla (yeah, no joke), followed with a severe Eating Disorder -- about four or five years -- as desert.
Mrs. Hammer is back from rehab about 6 months, now. Seems to be holding on, but the crazy just pops out any/everywhere. My daughter says we are "Dancing on a Crazy Time-Bomb."
Jad went into some of the details regarding BPD. Do you really understand that if that is what you are dealing with?