Devastated1--I was hoping that some recovering AA members would see my comment and respond.
However, you can find some open meetings near your home and find some recovering AA members there. I have always found recovering AA persons very willing to talk and help. I have worked with alcoholics, before. I had long-recovering alcoholics working side-by-side with me. I learned more from them than any book. Also, another alcoholic can reach another alcoholic better than anyone else. The understand the same language.....
This is what helped me a LOT: Google the articles written by Floyd P. Garrett, M.D. There are a lot of them. Specifically, read the ones about "The Addicted Brain" and "Addiction, Lies, Relationships". This will help with your anger and disappointment (natural reactions) with your son--you won't personalize it so much and it will relieve some of your parental guilt. If you have any trouble finding them--PM me and I will help you.
dandylion