Reverse, first #2 -- fwiw -- lotta schools limit how many folks each kid can invite. Yeah, wodda, shodda, codda been you . . . but at least you got the gift request . . . er ah, I mean, announcement.
Regarding #1 -- her brain is likely to be so spinning that you have put in 10 times as much thought (and guilt) as she would even be capable. Dunno if you have tracked around here -- but they tend to be a TOTAL MESS coming out of rehab. Total Mess. All-in-all, maybe be glad you are not there to have that land on you, too.