what bothers me i guess you guys is that he just lied about everything. you know?
i sometimes feel like my whole marriage was a lie. and it makes me sad. yeah, i know he is doing what he needs to do now.....but he told so many lies to keep me in the dark about his double life.
and now...that he is getting his life together....the lies he told me haunt me.
they really do.
for example...i will think about the guy who came over to our house all the time and became almost part of the family. he did work around our house....helped me with the baby...and became someone i could talk to. he was a real family friend. well...turns out that he was the main person my husband did coke with....and he knew all the dirt about what he was really doing in the streets....you name it. and it was all a lie. they both lied to me.....to keep this double life going.
or all the times he said he was going to do something...and now i know that he lied about who he was seeing, what he was doing...etc...
it is kind of to the point where i think was DIDNT he lie about?
it keeps bothering me.
nothing has happend now to make me think he is lying....but damn...he has lied so much....how would i ever really know what the truth is? that is why i am working on my codie issues so that my serenity is not based on what he does or does not do. my happiness is not solely derived from whether or not he wants to be an ******* or not.