Lets just reinforce my sense of not belonging today! Are you ready?
I drove North to do some Demo work at this small crunchy granola hipster store. I thought this would get me out of my head, and for a time it did. Only on the drive there.
When I got there this lady told me, and I quote; " YOU ARE NOT MY FAVORITE PERSON, AND I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU, AND EVERYBODY KNOWS ME IN THIS TOWN! ......I listened and tried to explain myself. She would not let me communicate. The store that I worked at denied selling her book thinking that it did not fit in with the atmosphere, and that it would not sell. I was given the job of saying "No" to her. I did not want to do this job of telling her NO. I had to. The owner pays me my pay check. So, I told her as gently as I could. It wasn't abrasive, I was gentle. Needless to say, she still felt that if she could talk to the owner things would have been different. I said that the owner did not want to sell the book, and wanted me to say NO. I am not going to work in a small space so close to an individual that does not want me to be there, I am not ONE OF HER FAVORITE PEOPLE!
She did go onto say that she has never has issues with communication and people, but she is not able to communicate with me etc..... while storming off in an emotional flurry. I needed to respectfully walk out of that very very uncomfortable situation and decline work. I drove the 30 min home crying, and thinking to myself that communication is a two way street, and if a person wants to communicate effectively they should most likely let the other person talk. Hmmm......What a screwed up head mess. I am vulnerable. What is the message? I do not need to work up North. I can not be responsible for somebody else and their emotions. I am now at home feeling drained.
( I was wondering what would happen if we ran into each other again)