I'm struggling with detachment right now. What exactly is it and how do I do it?
AH has not been to AA for two weeks. He has been away on business for the last week. As far as I know he has been sober for 30 days, but doesn't like to share any of that with me because he says I "take things over"
I fully recognize that I have been trying to control his drinking. His life is tied to my life -he drinks, the kids and I suffer. I also get very excited about new things and like to dive in. I'm excited that he's not drinking. I want to share that excitement with him. We used to share all our excitements before he started drinking, I just want that back.
The addictions counsellor I see told me I should definitely be talking to him about his addiction, asking how he is doing and pushing him to go to AA. Buf it makes me tired and I feel like a nag. On the other hand I feel like if I don't I would never know how he is doing or where he is in his recovery -if anywhere at all.
Detachment to me means to totally pull back, ask no questions, show no interest, do not intervene in any way shape or form. But it also means if he fails, our family fails. He loses his job, we don't eat (my income is not enough) so just sitting back feels like I'm dooming us all.
I have "Codependent No More" requested at the library but I need help now.
