Boon, it seems to me you ARE finally accepting him for who he is--an A who has no interest in getting sober, and in fact wants to add another drug to the mix (your comment about him wanting to start to smoke weed again). Accepting who he is doesn't mean you choose to tie your life and happiness to him. Accepting who he is doesn't mean you are obligated to live w/him forever. It just means you believed him when his actions told you who he was.
Now that you know that, it's up to you to choose where YOUR life goes.
Sorry if I missed the point, but that is mostly what I got from your post....