Wow sounds like you tapered down pretty fast. I don't know how you were able to handle that.
I'm already thinking of taking a break from my taper. Need to get a job again and get myself a bunch of money, as well as a drivers licence and some friends so getting off's not so miserable, emotional, hard or lonely.
Life's just been hitting me hard lately. I don't know how I would be able to handle it if I already have a hard time when I'm stablized at 16mgs of Methadone a day :S .... I don't know if I'd be able to handle anymore emotions in all honesty. Never realised how rough life is (I guess because I had the Opiates before).
Been getting a bunch of red flags and massive cravings lately. Honestly was so close to scoring something yesterday. Was gonna get DXM because I didn't wana go and get Opiates obviously and than I found out I'm completely broke lol. Think I need some time to sort stuff out.
Been drinking and smoking Pot here and there and it's just been making it even worse. but each time I chose to do those thing I felt like I just could take it anymore, so I snapped.
Maybe I just need a break, iunno.
I just had a massive break down in the last couple days honestly. I made a stupid mistake of tapering my Clonazepam right from 2mgs-1.5mgs and snapped on the 3rd day. Made my life a living hell!!! Was way too mmuch of a drop. Should just cut the .5mg pill into fourths...
It was fine when I first started to taper with the Methadone. But the longer I was contantly doing it, the more it started to wear and tear me. Now it's been months of this **** and I'm feeling worn right down.
I find the lower doses are even harder now to and only geting harder. Honestly just really scared. I don't know if my body would be able to stay clean without any Methadone. That's my biggest fear.
I mean it would be nice to totally be off of it one day. But I guess sometimes a non-drug induced break is neccassary. At least for me anyways. Like **** i still am having some Opiate cravings in the background here and there. It's not good at all. I'm super scared of having them full-force again if i was to be off of the Methadone completely.
That's my situation right now anyways. I've never once quit opiates totally in my life yet.
Completely broke right now though. Friendless. Lonely. Out of things to do. I need to get back into society. Can't even hold down a job while I'm constantly weaning down either, which is why I wanna take a break and try and enjoy the summer before it's over, because I know how bad Winter gets for me unfortunately (probably will be even worse now that I have as much of my feelings back as I do). Bunk. But it is what it is.
I used to be on 90mgs of Methadone, so I guess I just gota try and not be so hard on myself.
And congrats on the 4 years BTW. That's a huge accomplishment.