Hello there....
Hmmm...I guess I should start with my "stats"? :
I have been addicted to ultram now for... (wow)....2 years last month... Initially, I took it for pain relief, as I'm sure you've heard a thousand times.. I thought it was "safe" "non-addictive" etc.... I KNEW I felt a lil "high" when I took it.... three months later I ran out.... and was in absolute hell
.... Sweats, aches, nausea/vomiting and diarrhea.... leg spasms... headaches...but MOSTLY...the WORST general muscle weakness I had ever experienced.. Getting out of bed or just LIFTING MY ARM was impossible. About a year later, I tried to detox again, but the withdrawals were MUCH worse.... I only made it to the 4th day before I caved. I tried Kava Kava, Valerian and melatonin for the insomnia...even diphenhydramine and liquor....nothing helped... Now, I take about 6 daily two 50mg PO Q4-6 hrs prn to avoid feeling weak and bitchy. Really bitchy...Even when I taper I hate everything and feel incredibly depressed... I never "get high" I just take them to function...to feel normal...I guess that is part of the definition of addiction?.... hmm... Well... I hate it...I absolutely hate being so dependent, chained to a PILL....and I wish I could wave a magic wand and undo it all....go back to before.... I am scared to death of detoxing..... Only my fiancee knows my dark secret and he WOULD help me..... If I had the time away from work and school.... AND I should know better.... I MUST lick this before I have patients of my own....Please don't groan and hate me for this... I hate myself for you.... But I will not stay away from the medical profession...It is and will be my life.... The proximity to temptation is easily avoided and I know I have learned SO much from this that I can help others...I'm just STUCK.... How can I get over the hump?.... Narco Anon meetings? Is there anything legit out there to get me (and the rest of us) through the HELL of withdrawals? I know that tramadol has SSRI properties...and I am SURE I will need an antidepressant afterwards for a while..... but.....I need to take the first step... Where can I go? Has anyone succeeded?.... Thank you for lightening my load...
~KK