Thank you Auden! It's ironic that you have shared that this wasn't your first time trying because so often I read about people who just wake up one day and stop drinking for good. When I see or hear that, I feel like such a "failure". I feel like I had so many "revelations" that got me to stop for a month or two, but I always seem to relapse. I ALWAYS want to talk about it because I have no one in my "real life" that I share this with. I come on SR and I journal my little heart out in a Word file on my computer
After years of my drinking escalating and some not so serious attempts to quit, it has been about 18 months of stops and starts for me. I feel I have learned so much about myself, sobriety, and my addiction in this time. I'm not an AA person ( I have tried it). I did drink for the past 3 nights, after about a week sober. I've fallen into this on/off pattern it seems. I have always been scared of imagining a life without alcohol, even though that is truly what I want. So today can be my day one, and hopefully we can share a sobriety date with a one year difference