Day 14 - did something really stupid today
I guess when they say your addiction starts to manifests itself in other areas of life they're not kidding! For me it's through sex. I was so desperate today that I ended up sleeping with a 37 year old man. I felt DISGUSTING afterwards and ashamed and all these feelings of self-hatred came back at once and it was just awful.
I should have listened when they told me that you shouldn't get involved in "intimate"(if you wanna call it that) relationships in your first year of recovery, cause now I feel all f***ed up in the head and it's not that I want to use but it really just ruined the streak of positivity I've had so far. /: