Relying on beer to 'bring us out' is what got most of us into trouble tho.
It never stops at just one beer.
I found it didn't really bring the real me out at all anyway - it just created a false me - a me who I loathed the more I drank and the drunker I got.
I think after 3 years if you're still trying to fit in, and the only option you have is to drink to do that, you need more options....
I found myself by getting out of my own way - getting out of my own head.
Volunteering was really good for me - it reconnected me with others, it was useful, gave me some purpose and it reminded me that my problems weren't actually too bad
Once I had a sound idea of who I was, I found I needed other peoples validation far less.
You might find another way, but the whole idea of breaking down that wall you speak of is worth thinking about, I think
D