3 years sober and I slipped
I've been lurking this forum for years, all the stories helped me early on. But I made a mistake. After 3 years, all I still want to do is fit in. I went to a friends little get together last weekend and had one beer when it was handed to me. I thought, "what the hell, I've been good". There wasn't really any pressure, I just wanted to fit in again. A week later later (Friday) I was given a six pack of beer by my boss for all the hard work I did. Once again, I thought "what the hell, I deserve it" so I drank it. Day after that, I bought one pint at the supermarket thinking "it's only one beer". Now it's memorial day, and I bought another six pack, because it was a holiday. I feel so stupid, yet tomorrow that urge of "well it's monday" and then a few days/weeks go by and I'll be drinking a 12 pack of bud ice just to get drunk again, waking up feeling terrible. I do NOT want to go back to that. In fact, I can't! And of course there's this little part of me that thinks I can still drink in moderation.
I don't know anyone that is also a non-drinker, I guess this was bound to happen.
Any advice or scoldings would be appreciated.