Pippi, I understand, completely. I had a similar situation with my children's father--he wasn't alcoholic--but he was quite narcissistic (I divorced him). I pretty much followed your same plan when I had to be in close contact with him. I spent a lot of time biting my tongue, I can tell you. I had to remember that just about everything out of his mouth was NARCISSISTIC QUACKING!!! That helped me stay detached in front of the children. Like you, I sucked it up for the children.
I applaud you for considering the children first. I have heard others say "You have to love your children more than you "hate" your husband".
Best of luck with this.
dandylion