I think I am ready. I have finally got the proper resources in my area. I am going to go for an assessment I can't keep going down this path of pain and suffering. I deserve to be happy and healthy. I really want to stop this cycle it is insanity. I'm constantly making a fool out of myself. I'm at the point where I am blacking out daily and no longer trust myself. I just lock myself in my apartment and drink and drink and drink.