Originally Posted by
Summerpeach 
One newcomer in my group is also in AA (6 yrs sober) and you can see she has a seriously personality disorder. She shares about her "7 addict kids" and laughed when she talked about how "I kicked them out at 16 to fed for themselves" and her "many intimate relationships with AA men" and it has my head spinning and I just cannot bring myself to even want to help her because it makes me feel toxic.
mmmm, yeah. Observed but not discussed too often.
You understand, that some are not there for help. More of a dump site.
There is a fair amount of mental illness on the AA side of the wall, and some native to Alanon side, as well, but when it comes over from the AA side, it is usually a little bit . . . out there. At best. I see what you are talking about in our local, closest group as well.
Some were even running back across telling Mrs. Hammer what I had done or said in Alanon. Total mess. And yeah, typically they either are, or belong on meds.
Fortunately I wind up across several groups, now with traveling from time-to-time, and truth is some groups are just more healthy than others.
Bottom line. Try another group, or time or whatever.
Kind of funny, so many folks in Alanon trying to get away from Alcoholics, but here they come, anyway.
The AA folks working their program are Golden. But the ones just half-assing and sloppy -- omigod.