Sorry to parachute into the thread but i just spotted this, Jeni .
To badly paraphrase buddha he said " anger and hatred only begets more anger and hatred , only through non anger and hatred does it end" .
Sometimes i detach from whats causing the emotion and sit inside myself and watch what the emotion does to me , hot head , sweats , clenched fists , tense muscles .
By excersising that detachment for a moment and dealing with the uncomfortable physical side , my bodies' automatic reaction . I'm better able to deal with the issues , either engaging with it or by accepting it and leaving it behind me .
Bestwishes, M