Can't wait for the alcohol to be out of my system
I've been through this more times than I can count. The first day is the hardest and each day after I feel better and better. And then somewhere down the line, I think I can drink - a little- again. But that little bit just opens the flood gates and before I know it I'm doing the same stuff all over again. I'm not drinking today, but I had probably almost 12 beers last night and after an awful night's sleep and waking up foggy and bloated, I just want to feel good again. I'm lucky because all I need is one day and I start to feel the benefits. But now I can almost feel the blood racing through my veins and an overwhelming sense of exhausted.
I trying not to be too hard on myself for these relapses, but then again, I wonder if I'm too easy on myself and that's why it keeps happening. I am so much better than I was 2 years ago, but am desperate to get to a point where I am just done...for good, and mean it. Today is the first day of my summer vacation,and I am determined to make it a sober summer. I can't drink anymore. I just have to end this cycle once and for all, and go back to the good stuff, which only happens when I'm not drinking.
Sorry for rambling, I just have to get it out of my head, and move on with my sober life. I have to stop relapsing, starting today.