Thanks Laurie and everyone here who responded. It's neat to see everyone's perspective and input. One of the things that happened during my therapy session was that my counselor basically told me that she felt she was taking my money for nothing, that maybe I should find someone else, because I was so unwilling to open up and do real work. It shocked me because I knew she was being honest and truthful and my first reaction was to walk out and never look back. I had to sit there with tears in my eyes trying to figure out what she was really trying to do. So, all of a sudden I started crying about how it was my dad's birthday and I saw on his FB page that his old friends had posted about missing him, etc and how angry I was at my sister who posted about missing dad and how much she loved him, blah blah blah. My sister never called him, didn't send him pictures of her kids, etc. Now, she wasn't obligated to do that, but to pretend that you had this great relationship with him and that you miss him seemed crazy to me.
I had to remember that her relationship with him was different despite how much they hated each other. So, there I sat crying and angry and frustrated. I was the one who called despite what a drunk and grump he was, I was the one who took trips back to visit, I was the one whom his wife called when she needed to bounce crap off of me about his hospital stays or about his condition. She never asked about him, she barely shed a tear, and now 16 months later she claims she loved him and misses talking to him, etc??? UGH! I was ticked but it took almost an hour of talking to my therapist for me to even realize I had these feelings. It's like I didn't even recognize them so I couldn't accept that they were there. Man, I got a long way to go and it doesn't help that I found out about a few more of AH's lies and bulls*it. It's so hard for me to stay on my side of the street and not get caught up in his lies, excuses, and justifications. So damn hard.