I wasn't trying to diminish the hurt you feel over this whole situation. I get it, believe me.
The thing is, you have to REMOVE him from your list of options of people who can help, at least for right now. Pretend he is temporarily out of the country in a place where you cannot reach him, no matter what the reason.
You made it through this situation without his help, right? Hopefully that will help you next time you think you HAVE to contact him.
Hang in there. I know it's not an easy situation, but to the extent you are able to accept it as what it is, right now, the more peaceful you will feel.