So sorry for what you are going through...
It is painful to be raged at, told horrible things and then I always found, all the more painful to have the A act as if I were in the wrong to be upset/hurt/sad etc... about those things... He dismissed them as did yours as "the alcohol talking" as if that excused it.
My now xAH went through some brief periods of sobriety in that he was not drinking. But like your husband he continued to place the blame for his drinking on me, and self aggrandizement doesn't come close to describing his perception of what he contributed. Like your husband he believed he did far more than he actually did and his needs and schedule and wants came before everyone else (and still do).
When I was still with him the ONLY times I felt any peace were when I told myself to expect absolutely NOTHING from him (not because that was reasonable or normal but because I knew that was who he was and that to expect him to behave differently would set ME up for disappointment) and went about my day without giving him a second thought.
Of course that never lasted long because without my trying to interact with him he had no one to blame for his moods so he would force interaction so my detachment never lasted too long.
I hope that your AH continues to attend AA and use a sponsor and chooses to heed the advice of the program because if he does then he will focus on HIMSELF and stop blaming people, places and things for his drinking.
Your anger and hurt is normal and to be expected. One of the things I found hardest about living with an alcoholic were all the unwritten rules such as "don't talk about feelings" and "walk on eggshells around the A's feelings". That's not normal and it is draining on us to do.
I am really sorry for you and your kids... hang in there and post here often. It's a great source of support and wisdom