I have a different take on this - with all due respect to the other posters here. I think it hurts like hell to be rejected, and the "rejectee" doesn't want to quite let go yet, and I think its normal.
I also think reaching out in a crisis is normal, even when you said you wouldn't. Shoot - this forum is full of people trying to unwind a relationship and failing badly at it. It's not easy to just change direction when a relationship ends. Don't beat yourself up for it. Just do something differently next time.
What helped me disengage was writing about it in a journal. Plus, I was able to go back and read my entries over and over again, to remind myself when I was forgetting the purpose or fantasizing about the dream I was losing - yes, it was just a dream I lost - reality was it was a bad match to begin with and doomed for failure and the alcoholism played a big part in that.
Lastly, try to find acceptance in rejection. It hurts like a son of a b!tch, but it also means more room for other opportunities to come into your life. Have some faith that things are exactly as they should be right now. The "in-between" stage is the hardest, but like everything else, this too shall pass.
Peace,
~T