I’m very glad you are going to al-anon and I hope you continue to go. Have you explored your codependency at all? There are a great number of books out there that can help you understand your own behavior and how counter productive that behavior is when dealing with a relationship.
Right now your single source of self esteem comes from him and the relationship and that’s not good. The relationship is over and you still keep trying to contact him and that will only lead to hurt and disappointment as you found out.
I’ve found that more people who focus on themselves, work on their own issues and respect and act on what the other person has requested……comes out a far healthier person.
And if that is not something you are willing to do and are hell bent on continuing to reach out to him then by all means become that stalker woman that he kringes at when he see’s your phone # or text message. You can always end up being that woman that gets blocked from contacting him and you can become the subject of his future stories about the woman who wouldn’t leave him alone and made his life a living hell………….we all have choices in life………and consequences that come along with those choices.
Make the right one for your self, walk away with your head held high and respecting his wishes!!!!! Believe me…you will be glad you did.