Hugs to you, Star,
What helps me at times like this is to remember that sometimes people come into our lives for a reason. Even when it ends "badly" maybe while they were there they did something good for us. When we're in the middle of the chaos everything gets so confusing--the good and the bad. With distance, I've been able to appreciate some of the good aspects of these men, while not losing sight of the fact that staying with them would have been impossible and very, very bad for me. Very few people in this world are "all bad".
I hope you both find a measure of peace in your lives going forward.