Originally Posted by
fantail 
How do you put your life together when your internal compass is off?
Find the right group (don't be afraid to try several).
Learn the steps and start working them.
Observe yourself and how you react to things. When you react in a way that bothers you, dig underneath, understand why you acted that way, and why it bothers you.
A good therapist can help you in this self observation. But it can be done without one.