Thanks so much everyone; this has been somewhat of a relief.
I was brought up by parents who drank (still do) every night. All social gatherings were accompanied by alcohol. My father is an incredibly successful person but one that I would describe as 'high functioning alcoholic'. It is incredible how much he can drink and then still get up and work in a very responsible job. Even after my (first) husband died and I was in the depths of grief his response would be 'come on love let's have a drink'.....and then we would get drunk. My mother has always been able to moderate her drinking and will never have more than 2 drinks at a time, and proper measures at that. that is what I would like to do but am not sure if it's realistic.