Thanks, new pals.
Definitely in a weird place with friends here because husband has died, brother now here -- and his behavior is/has been a bit obvious to most. And I fear not having friends' companionship because they know it's not the same comfy home they used to visit (one has said he always felt "safe" here ...) -- even though he's in the separate space about 50 feet away.
All that to say, getting close to lowering the boom. As I said, no steady income, but capable without a doubt. Honestly -- as in, he mentioned it to me -- looking forward to SSA benefits in two years -- still will be small potatoes if having to pay for a real place (as in not mine, heh heh) to live.
I do believe he is maintaining a low income -- and informing me -- to make sure I'm aware he will not be able to manage on his own at this current level. How entitled he must feel.
I think what I will ask from this wonderful place is reality checks, gut checks, whatever we all call them -- and in return, I will post the date and time of his departure, for real, and the in-between as I navigate this. It is equally difficult knowing I have to get about the business of understanding the death of my husband -- as in, this is really a case of arrested development in the grief department -- because the brother's issues came up immediately. This is painful -- but only because he's not the kid I grew up with -- and I have to remember even that ended at age 18 for him and age 20 for me. It is also painful knowing that he truly had no regard for me or my husband -- the man he called his "best friend, loved four times more than anyone, including you (me), and I wish you would respect my feelings ..." on the day the car was sold and he threw the hissy fit, big time. Did anyone say "King Baby"?
Mercy.