Originally Posted by
seemedrink 
I just don't want to drink just because I feel the need to because I don't want to go through withdrawl. I am an alocholic, I admit that. I like being drunk. But I don't think abstinence is the solution. I'm still young and I still want to have fun, I just don't want to be home drinking by myself every night. I've seen what is does to people... it destroys you, you lose friends because of it. I don't want that... I just want to be normal.
I'm at 12 right now and could probably take it to over 20 if I wanted to until I puke. I know that's not normal. I put on weight, I alienate myserlf, and I hate it. I just want to stop but I don't want to kill myself in the process.
I want to be normal too seemedrink, unfortunately I'm not normal and there is nothing I can do to change that. And that doesn't just include drinking. I was born with a heart defect and have had 2 open heart surgeries in the last 9 years, one to replace my aortic valve and one to replace my ascending aorta because of an aneurysm. I wish I was born with a normal heart but I wasn't.
My suggestion to you is to try to cut down...do some controlled drinking. If you can't do that then you will probably have to choose between drinking the way you are now or stopping all together. And if stopping all together requires going to the doctor to help ease your withdrawal symptoms you may have to do that as well. I don't know how bad my withdrawal symptoms would have been because I went to a doctor as a precaution. He gave me a couple of different medications to take for a shot period of time to help with withdrawals and I only had some minor discomfort.
I think most of us wouldn't be here if we could cut down or just drink when we wanted to...in other words drink like a normal person. Either you can drink like a normal person or you can't, and it's been my experience that I didn't have a choice in the matter. I've tried to and I've found that I'm an all or nothing guy when it comes to drinking, I can't stop once I get started.