This is, and isn't, a bit OT. I'm sure a lot of the effects of alcoholism (other people's and my own) have contributed to this situation, but I am officially asking for help. Sorry, but it's long post. Feel free to skip if you aren't interested in hearing about housekeeping issues.
I moved into my modest 35-y/o townhome seven years ago. I bought it because we sold the property I had owned with the last guy I lived with, and thought it made sense to buy rather than continue to rent the apartment (an AWESOME apartment with awesome views, BTW). I had the place inspected and it had been lovingly maintained by the previous owners (who bought it new).
I never really got properly unpacked/organized (or what passes for organized for me) because my adult son moved in with me the first week I was here (moved from Colorado). He stayed with me for only a year, but during that time I wound up with two cats (he wanted them, I was basically stuck with them after he moved back to Colorado). My drinking continued to ramp up for the following year, but I got sober a year after he moved back.
So the place was pretty unkempt by then, and to make matters worse, my fourth day sober a sewer backed up into my basement COMPLETELY flooding it. I lost a lot of stuff, and they had to rip out the carpet and flooring. I was insured but held off a bit on replacing the flooring until I took care of some other projects I wanted to do--including some renovations to the basement.
By the next year I was working on some of those renovations--planning, etc.--and I found a friend in AA who was a carpenter and he was taking care of some minor problems I was having with sticking windows and stuff. He discovered, when trying to fix one of the basement windows, that my house was SINKING, and I had developed huge cracks in the foundation that were not there when I bought it. So that resulted in engineering consultations, discovering a collapsing retaining wall owned by the Homeowners' Association was probably causing/contributing to the problem, hiring a lawyer, fighting to get the wall replaced. The retaining wall is now replaced but I am trying to get them to help pay for the damages. More attorney's fees and engineering fees later, and we still haven't seen a dime.
Just before I retired, my icemaker leaked, causing water to soak through the floor on the first floor into the basement. More damage, as they had to rip out the basement ceiling to dry out the flooring. The living room rug, which already needed replacing, had to be partially ripped out.
By this time, I pretty much had given up on trying to do ANYTHING at home. I quite cleaning, I quit putting anything away. It is such a mess right now that cleaning is a losing battle, and everything is piled all over the place. I'm not a hoarder (have no problem throwing stuff out) but I cannot figure out what to do with anything, and so it pretty much stays where it gets dropped. I manage to stay on top of my finances (though the paperwork is a mess, too--I pay bills immediately when they come in, and have autopay set up for almost everything), and I manage to do my job, but my home office is a disaster, too.
I can't have anyone in my house (my neighbors take care of my cats when I'm gone but I try to pick up a bit if they are coming in), and I don't even like to have workmen in here. I feel extraordinarily embarrassed and ashamed of the way the place looks. Please be assured, I am NOT exaggerating. The place is disgusting. Because I have not let the cats into the basement since everything is piled up down there, I have the litter box in the living room. I need to get it back into the basement, but I don't want to do much with the basement until I get the foundation fixed (probably two walls will have to be torn out, I am told).
So I am feeling trapped in this squalor. I finally sent an email to a home organizer/life coach from Angie's List. She has glowing testimonials there from clients, her fees seem very reasonable, and she seems to be very nice and non-judgmental. I already got a call from her and we are playing phone tag.
My older son is planning to visit later this summer and I want to have the place at least somewhat under control before he gets here. I want to be able to invite friends over. I want to be able to move around in my own home again.
I can afford the organizer, and once we get things under control, I can afford to have someone come in and clean every couple of weeks.
Anyway, as I said, I have hit my bottom with this situation. I feel better just for having made the call. I spent the weekend cleaning out my clothes closets and I took four HUGE bins to Goodwill. So that's a start. I gave away stuff with tags that I have never worn, as well as stuff I haven't worn in years. It's a start.
Thanks for listening--this has been a huge burden on me, and just as with the drinking, the insanity of living with an alcoholic, and a couple of other unmanageable situations, just getting it off your chest helps.
