what to do
I have been with my boyfriend a little over a year. When we first started dating, I suspected he was on something but I couldn't tell what. Later on, I found out it was blues (roxies) which I never knew about until him. His mother, sister, mother's fiancé, and friends all knew about it for at least a year prior. It got to a point where his mom, sister, and I would openly talk about his using and enough was enough. We tried an intervention and he agreed to rehab after convincing him. He went for a week and relapsed the day after he got home. Of course I suspected it but it didn't come out until months after him continuing shady routines. He got kicked out of his home and came to live with my family and I. He got a job and was still using. I suspected it and we would fight until my father caught him getting high in the bathroom while I was at work. He was no longer allowed at my house and still isn't because of that and because my parents paid a thousand dollars to help him get a rental car for work which he still hasn't paid them back for. He lives with his father ( who's a recovering alcoholic) and he started drinking again. After a couple months, he has a good job and a car. He's trying to stay clean and eventually we were planning to get a place together. To earn trust back, he was suppose to take drug tests and pay my parents. He had an excuse not to pay them and denied a drug test today because he said he's sick. He wants a ANOTHER chance. I told him he has to take a drug test tomorrow and pay my parents back next paycheck or we are done. When does it get to a point where enough is enough? I hope this time if he doesn't go through with this, I can finally walk away. He gets upset and just wants trust back but won't show me he's changing. We are close and he shares a lot with me about his addiction. Sometimes I think it's to brainwash me to think he is in recovery but he's using. He told me today he took sub-oxen when i wouldn't talk to him after he got kicked out of my house but why would he not tell me that? Especially since I tried to help him get Sub-oxen and he didn't want to take it. I feel like my judgement and sanity is gone and he took it. I do dwell on bad things in life to a certain extent and he uses it against me. He would admit using last week but Said I shouldn't get upset he lied and it's in the past which is ridiculous to me! Am I crazy? I don't know what to do anymore but I do love him. A year of this.Things get good than everything falls apart for him and he uses. Just listening to myself tell this makes me feel dumb for staying with him. Please help