I was a hostage to myself. I so obsessed about what my AH was up to that I missed many, many life memories and many in the moment memories. I can remember having the chance to meet some famous people at a party with my husband, and being so obsessed with what AH might be doing at that party, that I spent the whole night looking for him. Guess who had a great time at that party, and got to meet all the famous people?
I use that memory to remind myself of what I can miss when I take myself hostage.