I can relate!!! To Saskia.. Well, you won the bet!! I defer to your wisdom and life experience.
And Need.. how funny... the reason I am beginning to try and clean is to get ready for a Memorial Day barbecue, in honor of my youngest child graduating college... I have not "entertained" in years... this is so uncomfortable, and yet, I know that I am on the right path... not isolating and not using a three day week-end to sink deeper into my addiction...
I will not have too many people, and most everyone knows my house is "alcohol free", due to being in recovery so many years... the past couple of years, with my pain pill addiction, was pretty well hidden... I just became more reclusive, and had "better boundaries" ( my words for building walls around relating to others). Anyway, let's both hope the weather continues to be mild and beautiful... not too hot and no storms, please.